User blog:TheAzumangaDaiohFan/Azu Riffs: Rap Rat (Part 2) 3/10/15
Last time on the Rap Rat Riff... What's this?! Our protagonist doesn't know the difference between a VHS tape and a VCR despite the fact that they grew up in the 90's? Well... that's just dumb! Anyway, what will the next part of the story bring us? Find out next time which is... right now: How Rap Rat Came to Be: In West Philadelphia born and raised, on the playground is where he spent most of his days! In 1992, the year of the game's development, A Couple of Cowboys had commissioned a manufacturing company in Haiti to create the doll portrayed in the game. ''Because China and Japan were overbooked with faulty product making''. The company who created the puppet ran a sweatshop, where they forced women and children to produce the various components of the puppet,'' including the felt and plastic of the doll. '''''The men on the other hand were forced to do sexually expilict things for their boss. One day, a young Haitian girl got her arm caught in the industrial sewing machine. The spring-loader, unable to handle the weight on the machine, came loose and struck the child's neck, killing her instantly. It turns out that the murderous machine was brought to life by a Russian alien UFO comet. A few days after the funeral, the mother of the child came to the factory, demanding to see the owner, who denied that he had anything to do with it. The mother surprisingly didn't hold aloft her mighty (insert magical object from Haitian culture here) and say "By the power of lawsuits! I have the Powwwweeeeeeeeeeeeeerr!!". '''''In a fit of rage, the mother said that the "blood from the innocent" would seep into every crevice of the doll, every component with which it was created and all who touched it would die. She did this under the assumption that humans were video game characters that could only sustain one hit. She claimed to have summoned a "fear demon" and screamed, at the top of her lungs, "APARAT WILL CURSE YOU!" The owner simply laughed and told his corporate bosses about Aparat. They spread the joke from person to person, and the game was renamed "Rap Rat", a loose anagram of Aparat. Each recitation of the name Aparat brought with it a greater and greater curse. '''''Nice to know the employees have the same amount of intellect as our protaganist! Only two years after "Rap Rat" was created, the company was shut down and the owners hired by Mattel. Who then went on to create Satan Barbie. '' There were stories of the workers begging for days off, skipping work for weeks and weeks, finding the puppet in strange places. Sooner were the stories of suicides. ''Including that one about Lavender Town Syndrome. Grim, violent suicides in which the workers would stab their hands and burn themselves to death, writing "I AM FEAR" on the nearest surface in blood. ''These suicide notes were written next to the word "It" where an elderly woman dropped her can of Beer Beer in shock. '' Nobody knows where the Rap Rat doll went after the original creators disappeared. Some say that the last things the victims saw before going insane were large, sunken, fish-like eyes. ''They were all traumatized by the movie known as Finding Nemo. '' So that was part two of the Rap Rat pasta. Surprisingly, this part of the pasta seemed a lot shorter than the last! But then again, maybe it's just me... Anyway, stay tuned for part 3 as we wrap up this riff! Category:Blog posts Category:Blog posts